You and I were stranger
put on same table by unexpectable drawer.
Some called it destiny,
but, laughing, I said it was parody.
As a cricket creates flame,
this how our eyes disposition became –
something someday I would blame.
Even just for seconds you spell your number I typed to my phone.
I felt weird thing beyond as I walked home alone.
We’ll be looking for sunlight and the headlights till our wide eyes burn blind
We’ll be lacing the same shoes that we’ve worn through to the bottom of the line
And we know that we’re headstrong
And our heart’s gone
And the timing’s never right
– Halsey, Roman Holiday
There is a condition of which I call as pseudoeducation.
When you take curiosity for granted because, yeah, it’s too much. When you learn not to understand but strike straight A marks. When your value is added by a piece of diploma paper as a ticket to work.
And while you do your best to take your shorter cut, thank you, I’m out.
Social media, in certain dosage, triggers its user to be (too) easy to talk but hard to listen.
You lie. I make believe.
Week ago, I was asked about what kind of life I want to live, why I want to dodge responsibilities of adulthood as long as I can, why I choose further detour?
I said, I just want to live such easy, carefree life.
Maybe it’s because life has been harsh on me from the very start. No complain. I just want to slow down a little and sight see what I have missed.
Or maybe, it’s just me and my complex: doubting my capability to keep everything held by my hands running exactly on the track. To much probabilities killing me, while taking more will increase their number. Sounds like it. A flight risk.
And somehow this knowing left me unsure.
Now has been a week since I was sitting here and making a mess of this in my brain. Distracted from what should be priorities.
What if I answered wrong?
What if I took off something important?
What if I walked a path I shouldn’t choose?
What if? What if.